Take Me Off That Pedestal!
“She’s a therapist, she should have her life figured out.”
“How is she qualified to tell me what to do in my marriage when she can’t even keep a relationship?!”
“She’s a therapist, her life should be perfect!!!”
“She’s a therapist, she should NOT post or say that!”
“How is she a therapist who fails to communicate properly or effectively?
Whatever pedestal YOU have ME on, go ahead and gently take me down. I AM A HUMAN BEING WHO CHOSE TO FOLLOW THE CALLING OVER MY LIFE - and that calling was and is to be a therapist! There are number of different people — family, friends, and even clients, who feel as though because you’re a therapist, there are things you should and shouldn’t do. BULLSHIT! Now I agree, there is a level of professionalism that is required to upkeep in the therapeutic setting, but to say that I must behave in a manner that isn’t true to who I authentically am outside of the professional setting would mean that I am doing myself a disservice and I have come too far to sit in a seat I never asked to be in based on how others see, view, and experience me. Take Me Off That Pedestal!
In my office, there’s a blank wall that I always reference in sessions that consists of a list of unwritten “Murphy’s Therapeutic Laws.” And the one that I reference in most sessions is “MTL-II” which states, “I am not responsible for the behaviors, the actions, the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, or the reactions of other people.” Far too often, especially in this society, do people feel as if they have the right to tell you about yourself. They feel like because they follow you and the squares you share, that they can have an opinion of and over how you present yourself in this life. Take Me Off That Pedestal!
I AM tired of being the bigger person all of the time, in every situation. I AM tired of caring about people more than they show they care for me. I AM tired of over-extending myself by showing up for people when they always feed me with some kind of excuse as to why they can’t or don’t want to do something. Leaving absolutely no room for an explanation. I AM also tired of having very conflicting conversations with myself about how I should present as a therapist - especially on social media! I used to be this liberated, outspoken, and socially cultural firecracker, and no matter how much I say “I don’t care what people think about me,” I care a lot about what people think about me. Take Me Off That Pedestal!
It is important to me that I am heard. It is important to me that I get my point across. It is important to me that all sides of the story are accurately told. My name is all I have and I have always defended and stood by exactly who I am. So yes, there is nothing about me that is perfect, and though I aspire to be half the man that Jesus was, I am okay knowing that I will never reach his level of perfection. Are there friendship break-ups that I caused and played a part in — YES! Are there people who I said I loved where my actions showed otherwise — ABSOLUTELY! Have I said that I was going to do something or go somewhere and canceled either in enough time or at the last minute — SURE! But no matter what the circumstance and no matter the issues and no matter how long I go without speaking to people, I always do all that I can in order for things to work out.Take Me Off That Pedestal!
So moving forward, stop expecting so much from me. There’s no one who knows everything about me and there never will be anyone who knows everything about me. WHY? Because there have been people I have trusted with everything who have created this sense and feeling of abandonment that I NEVER want to feel again. Take Me Off That Pedestal!
I AM a woman, FIRST. My pronouns are SHE and HER. I believe in God and I also believe in peace, and love. So whatever that looks like, then that is where I will always remain spiritually. I get nervous when people expect so much from me because I automatically assume that there will be a moment where I disappoint them. I care about what people think of me. When people I do not know attempt to get close to me, I regress and seclude myself. I’d like to think that I am a forgiven person, but I also know that I have an issue with people who have done me wrong — and who expect me to forget and act like their actions weren’t a contributing cause to why we are no longer. I love with my heart in my hands. I analyze everyone I meet and diagnose them in my mind. I AM working on how to differentiate who I AM as a therapist with who I AM outside of therapy. Take Me Off That Pedestal!
And the last thing I want to be concerned about is this pedestal that many of YOU have placed ME on — that I never asked to be on! Take Me Off That Pedestal!
